I am a pretty kind and considerate vina, but not always when it comes to myself. My level of self-esteem over the years has been like that of Pacific Ocean: ebbing & flowing, climaxing & crashing.
For the sake of my own sanity, I have gotten pretty good at forgetting my appearance throughout the day. Avoiding mirrors at all costs (besides the occasional hair touch up that accompanies a fringe style cut). If I do find myself staring at my reflection, I try to say something nice.
“Your top really compliments your eyes.”
“Today is going really well! Keep up the good work.”
I know it seems a little crazy to talk to yourself in the second person, but try it! It makes such a difference; a compliment directed by you and for you can really pack a punch (almost as if it was said by a stranger).
If you wouldn’t hold someone else to high beauty standards, give yourself the same break. I know I’m not ugly, but only lately have I been able to accept the way I look for just that: the way I look. I try not to focus on how I could look better, and simply be happy with the way that I am. Some of the features that used to be the absolute bane of my existence are now my favorite.
I do feel that if I am able to ignore my own vanity, I am better situated for focusing on the important things in life. More important things like friendship, school, career positioning, etc. So when I am out of the presence of a mirror, I put all of that out of my mind.
Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Meaning, do you feel as though you are not good enough; whether it be in terms of beauty, socializing skills, or even writing competency? Even when we should be proud of ourselves, our inner dialogue is often still pretty negative. The best thing we can do for ourselves in situations like these is to manually change the conversation in our head. Crank that positivity up until your ears start ringing.
Even supermodels have tough days. Although their “gross days” are still probably exceedingly better than our “most days.” We all [humans] have struggles with our image that we have to work through. So take notes from the best and tell yourself what you want to hear.
Tell yourself relevant compliments, affirmations and mantras. Pick from the two examples above or the short list below, and carry it with you wherever you go. Whenever you need a little emotional pick-me-up, please refer here:
-I am a badass.
-I am an intelligent and capable person.
-I haven’t hit a wall; keep pushing through it.
-I am beautiful.
-I am stronger than I think; I can handle this.
-I will stay open-minded.
-I am worth it.
-I love you.
And if today is just really hard (maybe it’s that time of the month, or your cat died, or you are just not having it), call someone who loves you and ask them to build you up. Your mom, your bff, your fairy godmother. Their job is to tell you all of your greatest qualities, and your job is to believe them.
If you do not have a person like this, download the Hey! VINA app and start your search. Find someone who can tell you how great you are, and do the same for them.
Please, please, please be kind to yourself.
(Originally posted on the VINAZINE)